Genre: Angst, Romance
Summary: After the 'deleted scene' from A Day In The Life. A little poetry, a little angst.
She laughs as they walk away from Tigh's one-eyed glare, hardly daring to look at Gaeta's falsely stiff profile.
Gods, how much they've changed. Finding humor in horror, laughter in impossible liaisons, some of the time. Dee wonders what this might say about them, but not for longer than a second as Felix takes her hand.
Your fingers in mine, O' Goddess he recites in his lazy voice. "Walk with me, this poor mortal, who weeps beneath the sky of your laughter.
"Oh shut up," Dee replies but doesn't let go of his hand. Instead she swings their arms in time as they walk down the hall. "What poem is that anyway?"
Gaeta sighs, as if in pain. "Your secondary education wasn't government sponsored, I'm thinking."
"I'm from Saggitaron," she replies evenly. "The Colonial government only wanted me dead. Or gone. Whatever was easier."
His fingers tighten around hers for a second, as if contemplating that terrible possibility. "It's Sahiphiro's fourth sonnet," he says quietly as they turn the corner into a more crowded walkway. "I wish I had the entire book or a better memory. I think you'd enjoy it very much. There are so many verses in there that remind me of you."
She doesn't loosen her grip, even as tired nuggets stare. "Such as?"
His mouth tightens. He shrugs. "Fair as any flower, unfathomable as a crystal of snow, in your hands is the staff toward which we all fall. Speak, we accept, as you hear our cries. You remove our ignorance, O Goddess.
She can feel her knuckles press against his, almost painfully. "That's not me. Not even close."
"Like everything else, it depends on who you ask." He slips his fingers free so to wheel open the door to their quarters. The gears grind and he yanks the hatch open, letting her in first.
Dee strides inside, keeping her back straight until the door is shut behind them. It's only then that she allows herself to sag within her uniform, yanking at her tight collar, pulling the top button loose. The jacket is stripped away as is the overlay tank, leaving only her grays on.
She feels cooler. Better. Even nicer to turn and see Felix leaning back against the wall, grinning at her, still dressed. "What?" he asks with fake innocence. "I'm merely giving you room."
Dualla can't help but snort and it's not too much of a stretch to yank off her gray top. Cool air hits the skin of her breasts, tightening them, making her nipples tingle and perk. "Am I removing some of your ignorance ... sir?" she laughs. She knows her expression is wicked and she doesn't care at all.
Gaeta's mouth drops open in delight. He looks like a boy on a holiday. "You are a goddess, don't let anyone tell you otherwise," he swears and slides forward shyly, touching her cheek hopefully.
A tilt of her head into his hand is all it takes. A tilt of her chin up and they are kissing, happily, without unspoken worries. She enjoys his hands on her body these days -- he expects nothing and gets everything he might want, without a single question.
So lovely. So unexpected. Peaceful.
They take the bunk that's nearest, which might possibly belong to someone else entirely. But they won't mind, except to be a little jealous as Felix mouths his way down her body, as she arches into his warm touch.
They are comfortable together, as always. Not the same as before but nothing is the same as before and she screws her eyes shut as he enters her, his and her lips bit against making any noise. Why do they do this silently, she wonders, but she knows its fear that keeps them from expressing anything that might be viewed as happiness.
Because the goddess they know now in this endless sea of space is cruel. Selfish. Sadistic, and Dee scratches at Felix's back hard with her nails, marking him as much out of passion as annoyance that they've been compared. It's not his fault she chants silently, relaxing into their rhythm. It's not our fault.
A few moments later Dee's body takes her away from herself and she forgives them both, which, in truth, is the function of the goddess. Not fate, but forgiveness and Felix smiles down upon her, sweat making his curls cling to his forehead, his arms trembling as they entrap her.
Later, as they are curled close, he recites again, remembering more than he'd normally admit. "Goddess," Felix whispers. "Destroyer of thought and pride, you grant me a freedom I would never have known. You are everything I could not have known."
"I'm sorry," she replies softly.
Sorrowfully, and his face falls. Eventually, his eyes close in sleep.
But hers do not, as the goddess ever watchful.